(Chronic people pleasers…this one’s for you!)
The ‘people pleasing’ personality type is often formed in childhood as a coping mechanism that helps to keep you safe in your environment.
Ultimately, we learn to push down our own feelings, thoughts, opinions and needs in order to be of service to others. Over time we begin to hear other people much louder than our own inner voice, and our stress response is easily engaged.
This can, over time cause blocked and suppressed emotions to manifest into psychical or emotional problems like high anxiety, depression, brain fog, fatigue, muscle tension and nerve pain, amongst others.
What we are doing is creating a brain response that teaches us to ignore our internal warning system or our ‘inner voice’, and only hear the loud, ‘immediate’ calls to action from external sources.
When you are on your path to self-love, you ultimately have to retrain your brain into pausing and not ‘reacting’ in a way that betrays your own needs. It’s important to take a breath and say things like; ‘thank you, I will take your advice into consideration’, or ‘I’d like to process what you’ve said and get back to you when I’m ready’.
This is great progress if you are already on the path to loving yourself enough to put your needs first! However, with all things, there are some hidden pitfalls along the way!
Your mind, if you are an Empath, Clairsentient or People Pleaser, will often run a million miles an hour because of your hyper-vigilance.
I’d like to refer to the frequency of these inner monologues, much to the same description as the ‘devil and angel’ that sit on your shoulder.
A friend of mine called her lower mind and intrusive voice, B.V - Bastard Voice. He was the creep who would sneak in and tell you all the ways things will go wrong or how much you should hate yourself in any situation. B.V rules the Reptilian and Limbic Brain.
Our Higher-Self sits in our Prefrontal Cortex. This Higher Consciousness has a golden sparkle and sounds like Tinker Bell’s faint ‘twinkle’. In order to connect with our Higher Self, we need to be grounded and in the present moment, otherwise B.V pipes up and takes over.
Now, for all of you chronic people pleasers, retraining your reaction to ‘stress’ or ‘chaos’ is a massive part of resetting your parasympathetic nervous system.
These energies are loud, in your face and require ‘immediate attention!’
Unfortunately B.V has that same frequency! So, not only will you have to take a breathe before responding to external stimulus, but you will have to take a step back in your own mind and reevaluate how your mind is reacting to it’s own thoughts.
Allowing our Higher Self to come forward and hold spotlight in our mind, requires a tremendous amount of effort. Over time, we can become accustomed to checking with all aspects of our mind; our subconscious, our inner child, B.V and our Higher Self. We’ve got a pretty good team up there who can consult us on all dynamics of a situation. However, it is the conscious mind that ultimately gets to make the decisions.
It’s time to give your Higher Consciousness the proverbial ‘talking stick’, so that you can let your brain listen to itself, instead of running on autopilot and engage in reactive responses.
~ The Wild Healer ~
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